Hi. I’m Kayla.

No one really knows this about me.

But I’m not sure I’m okay with myself.

I’ve always been second place to everyone. It’s not easy. I’ve always been compared to my friends and my older sister. And while I am so much different than my sister ever was, my parents keep expecting me to become who she is.

I’m not a fan of myself. And it scares me.

I have a friend who I can count on

but I don’t want to be a burden to him.

So… I started writing a book.

And I get about 5 chapters in and I stumble across this Fanfiction called 49 days with a really really similar plot. Should I keep writing…?

Goodbyes.

Class of 2012. We made it. I know we haven’t graduated yet, but I know that when that night comes, I’m not going to be able to think well enough to type this out.

Recently, my little sister got me watching a TV show with her, Monday nights, called Castle. In it, the character who is my favorite is named Alexis. She was valedictorian of her high school class, and her speech follows:

“There’s a universal truth we all have to face.Whether we want to or not. Everything eventually ends. Much as I’ve looked forward to this day, I’ve always disliked endings. Last day of summer, the final chapter of a great book, parting ways with a close friend; But endings are inevitable. Leaves fall, you close the book, you say goodbye. Today is one of those days for us. Today we say goodbye to everything that was familiar. Everything that was comfortable. We’re moving on but just because we’re leaving and that hurts. There are some people who are so much a part of us that will be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground, our north star, and the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us. Always!”

We have gone through so much together, and while it is hard to see this ending, I know that I don’t regret knowing any of you. Hold your heads high, and when we graduate, walk with pride. Because while moving on in life is hard, scary. and sad, it’s the next chapter in our lives. It’s inevitable, and we just have to deal with it.

Thank you, everyone, for letting me in your life for even just a little while. I appreciate every one of you and the difference you have made in my life.

I’m proud of us, and how far we have come.

Together We Stand, Forever We’ll Stay, 2012 Will Go All The Way.

I wonder if people ask themselves Anon questions to look popular….

My Future…

I’m eighteen years old, and graduating in two and a half weeks. Honestly, I should be excited, and I am, but I’m terrified. I see all my friends going places, making plans, and then there’s me. I’ve said my whole life I want to go into music, and I honestly still do. I’m scared though, of not being good enough. I have nothing else, no back-up plan. If the music thing doesn’t work out, what will I do with my life? I love teaching music, just as much as I love performing. Singing, acting, playing an instrument, those are my forms of expression. And without them, I don’t know what I would do. But am I good enough to support myself with them? I’m spending the next four years working with phenomenal musicians, and I don’t know what will happen if I can’t measure up.